Sunday, January 27, 2013


“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” 

I am at the end of Week 2 in May Cause Miracles. The focus this week was on self perception. It was enlightening to see how fear creeps into the way I view myself in so many different's insidious! 

As I mentioned in my last post, I was forced to stay home from work due to a back injury. It was amazing to witness how fear snuck into my consciousness....I went from being frustrated that I was in the situation to being convinced that I was going to grow old and die alone....really!

Sounds crazy, huh?

That's how fear manifested for me this week. The old tapes started up and I felt myself get pulled into the pit of my old fears...
I won't lend any power to these thoughts by sharing them here, but suffice it to say that I had a glimpse of what my future was gonna look like and it was dark & lonely.

But's the good part!

I prayed for a be released from the insanity of my fear based thinking.
I did the exercises in the book.
I devoted time to my meditation and envisioned myself being comforted and loved.

And then....I felt a shift!

Yesterday's affirmation was:
I forgive myself for having this thought.
I choose love instead.

Great reminder for me:

I ALWAYS have the option to choose love instead of whatever crazy, fear-laden, scary thought my ego throws at me.

I can ALWAYS choose love.

Let the miracles begin....

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Plan B

“Help" is a prayer that is always answered. It doesn't matter how you pray--with your head bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing." 
~~Anne Lamott

Over the last few years, I have come to believe a few things:

* Everything happens for a reason. 
* This too shall pass.
* One day it will make sense; today is not that day.
* There are no coincidences.

As I have shared in previous posts, the last few months have been a time of transition for me. After much consideration, I ended a relationship. While I don't regret my decision, it was not an easy one to come to. I prayed for guidance and I got it. Ultimately, it was the healthiest decision I could make.

For the past several weeks, I have had issues with my back. I have (grudgingly) taken a break from my yoga practice in order to give myself time to heal. Needless to say, I am not thrilled about this!
I went to my chiropractor yesterday. Doc worked his magic and I finally felt some relief...hallelujah!

Can you guess what happened next?

I tweaked my back again trying to open the door at work! The door weighs a ton and is difficult to open on a good day, but yesterday was bitterly cold and the door felt like it was frozen shut.

I felt the spasm almost immediately....DAMN!

I had no other choice but to go home...couldn't even stand up straight.

Frustrated? Sure...
Painful? Yup!

But here's what I realized...

I was forced to slow down and take care of myself. For many years, self care was not a priority for me. I have gotten a lot better at it, but it's still not my "go-to" thought. I don't put myself at the top (not even in the top 3) of my priority list....something or someone always comes first.  
I always bragged that I had a high threshold for pain....that pride almost stopped my from getting help when my life really depended on it, because I was so used to telling myself that "it" wasn't that bad.
Sometimes it doesn't need to get that bad...bad is bad enough.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had started Gabrielle Bernstein's book, May Cause Miracles.

Yesterday's affirmation:

I am willing to let go of my self-doubt.
I surrender to self-love.

I think not....

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The gift

“Living well is an art that can be developed: a love of life and ability to take great pleasure from small offerings and assurance that the world owes you nothing and that every gift is exactly that, a gift. ”
― Maya Angelou

So I am thrilled to report that I have experienced a shift. I feel like I am shedding the remnants of my old life... I feel reborn.

I am learning to practice the art of self love and to value the woman that I am becoming.  (I have come to believe that it truly is an art form...and one that can be learned at any time...never too late for that!)
I am dwelling in a state of gratitude most days....I am so thankful for where I am in my life right now. 

I am savoring relationships with the amazing women in my life...I am so fortunate to have incredible friendships with some pretty kick ass ladies! They inspire me, support me, and continually show me what real love looks like.

I am grateful that I can speak my truth with people I can trust...even when I don't have the vocabulary to accurately express my feelings. They let me find my way in a safe, nurturing, and loving environment.

I am grateful to be able to surround myself with people who value honesty, respect, and integrity. Not always qualities that are easy to come by these days!

I am grateful that an old friend reminded me to keep my heart open, even if..and especially seemed easier to shut down and rebuild "the wall".
And I'm grateful that he loved me enough to say it...and that I trusted him enough to hear it.

Most of all, I'm grateful that I know that every experience, painful or joyful, is part of my journey. Each is absolutely necessary to move forward along the path of my life...

I have no idea what the future holds...and I'm OK with that today.

Sometimes the best gifts are the ones you weren't expecting....    

Friday, January 11, 2013


“Leap, and the net will appear.”
― Julia Cameron 

As I reflect on the last few months, I can see growth...however slowly and almost nonexistent it may have felt at the time. There is comfort in the familiar which causes us/me to avoid change, even when the change is the better, healthier option. When present circumstances become painful enough, I somehow manage to find the courage to change.

I remember another time, over a decade ago when I chose to walk away from the toxic routine my life had become and step into the unknown. It was not as easy transition and there was pain then too. But it was a choice that ultimately saved my life.

I need to remember that when faced with a difficult choice to venture into unknown territory...I have always been taken care of! At times it may feel like I'm clutching onto the side of a mountain, holding on for dear life. That's when I need to remember that sometimes the best thing to do is take a deep breath...


I know from experience...

the net always appears!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

May Cause Miracles

There is no order of difficulty in miracles." ~~~ACIM

I started Gabrielle Bernstein's new book,May Cause Miracles, a few days ago. It's described as "A 40 day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness." 

RIGHT up my alley!

Gabby is a student and teacher of A Course in Miracles and has been described as this generation's version of Marianne Williamson. 
OK...I will be the 1st to admit that I worship at the altar of Marianne....I could listen to her lectures all day and have read almost every book she has written....there, full disclosure! 


Anyway, I have been struggling with some toxic, negative emotional crap recently and was willing to do ANYTHING to rid myself of it. I wanted an emotional DETOX! The book landed in stores on January 1st...I was dying to get my hands on a copy.

I am thrilled to report that after just 3 days of following the suggestions laid out in Gabby's book, I feel some relief. Something has shifted inside me.I don't get it and I don't need to understand the how and why of it. All I know is that a shift 
has occurred!

ACIM describes a miracle as a shift from fear to love.
My heart is full of love once again.

I can't wait to see what the next 37 days have in store!

**HIGHLY recommend this book!!**

Friday, January 4, 2013

Carving out a little room....

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
― Siddhārtha Gautama Buddha

Happy 2013! It's going to be an amazing year...I can feel it in my bones. Lots of exciting things planned....
This is the year of ME!
I am really diving in deep for some self exploration this year and I'm starting off with a big, fat love affair with MYSELF!
Somehow last year, I got off track and neglected this important relationship with me...I need to be a teeny bit selfish right now and shower myself with love.
Today, I am attending to my physical health by visiting my acupuncturist and going to a yoga workshop with one of my best girlfriends, taught by my favorite teacher. I am also meeting for coffee with a friend of a friend for a little fellowship...sharing experience, strength & hope...that's what we're taught to do to help others.

I am starting Gabrielle Bernstein's "May Cause Miracles" book on Sunday...40 days to recalibrate my perspective back to a more loving, less cynical place. Got a bit off track here too in the last few months....need to make my way back to my center.

New Year's Day was spent clearing out space for joy in the new year...I eliminated some things that no longer serve my greater good. I "sage"-d the heck out of my apartment to clear out the negative energy that had accumulated there. Now I am doing the same for my interior...I am eliminating negative thoughts & emotions to make more room for loving thoughts and joy.

Fear and negativity are no longer welcome here!

I am evicting the bad tenants that have taken up residency in my head and heart....get the hell OUT!!!

In 2013, I choose peace, love, and joy!

Now, back to my green juice...

Happy Friday everyone! xox