Sunday, February 17, 2013


“There is force in the universe, which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

This week was all about LOVE!
I'm learning to focus on all the opportunities to live, experience and most importantly, choose love in my daily life.
What I'm starting to understand is that it is all about the least for me.

I have spent far too much of my life choosing to focus on fear in all its many manifestations. I lived a life full of fear for years and the funniest part was that I was completely unaware of it! I was SO deep in denial and rooted in survival mode that I had no idea that I had built up a massive wall to hide behind. I prided myself on being a no nonsense, "don't mess with me" kinda girl...imagine my surprise when I learned years later that that tough exterior was merely a mask I used to protect myself! The ironic part was that in reality, I wasn't protecting myself at all, I was merely hiding from my life.

In hindsight, I can see that there was a whole lotta fear and not much love in the way I used to live...
It was a dark and lonely place to be.
I don't visit that old place much anymore, but recently, I found that I had returned and gotten myself stuck there for a bit.
It was just as miserable as I remembered...

Thank God I was able to shift gears and make another choice:
I chose love instead.

I am so fortunate to have people in my life who are on a similar path...these folks "get" me and I am grateful that I have these ladies who I can call when I need a big, fat reality check!

Sometimes I can get stuck in a rut...just deep enough that it's hard to see over the edge to get myself out. At times like that, it seems like that place is all there is...until I remind myself that there's a great big, beautiful world outside this nasty rut.
I just need a little help to pull myself over the edge.

That's where love comes in...

And love is where the miracles happen.

Lovin' my life today!
Hope you are too...

When all your desires are distilled;
You will cast just two votes:
To love more,
And be happy.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


“Forgiveness is first for you, the release you from something that will eat you alive; that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly."~~~Wm. Paul Young

I once knew a man who was very badly hurt by his ex-wife. He would recount all the ways in which she had wronged him to anyone who would listen. He was holding on to a huge resentment and felt he was entitled to an apology from her. Many years had passed since they had divorced and he still had not received the apology....there was a good chance that he wasn't going to get one, but he still clung to the idea that he deserved one. Better to be right...or is it?

The lesson in this (true) story is that forgiveness is not for the person who did wrong, it's for the person who was  wronged. If I'm waiting for an apology from someone who either isn't willing to give one or doesn't feel they need tothe only  person who is hurt by my lack of forgiveness is me

Resentment and holding onto grievances is like picking a scab (gross, I know...but bear with me on this) reopening the wound over and over again, you never give it the opportunity to heal. Forgiveness is like the antiseptic that cleans out the wound and allows it to heal.

Forgiveness is not always easy, but holding onto the resentment is more painful. One way to start the process is to the pray for the other person. While this may sound counterintuitive at first, in actuality, it allows the healing process to begin by loosening the death grip of resentment. By praying for the greater good of the other person, you're making room for love to enter. Forgiveness does not excuse or condone the behavior of the other person, but it does allow you to move forward without dragging the dead weight of the past with you into the present moment.

Check out what Marianne Williamson has to say on this topic:

An unforgiving heart is closed off to love and miracles.
Forgiveness is the key to open the heart once again.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Breaking point...

“We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

I had a bit of a breakdown last week.

In metaphysical circles, there is a lot of talk about the Ego and how It will stop at nothing to stay alive, especially when it feels threatened in the presence of Love. The work that I've been doing in May Cause Miracles seems to have stirred up my Ego and that wily bastard started fighting back!
Now the Ego is not real, of course, it's simply the way that Fear shows up in my life..and show up it did.

There was ALL SORTS of crazy talk going on in my head....lies to distract me from the work I'm doing to shift form a fear based mindset, to one of love.
The old tapes were back with a vengeance---they were playing loudly and incessantly. Isolation and depression set in and I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper... Kinda reminded me of what my life looked like a dozen or so years ago...not fun!

Thankfully, I reached out to a friend and shared the crazy with her. She reminded me that the thoughts that were consuming me were not true. She gently reminded me what was true and shared what the book had brought up in her. Now, I didn't realize that had been reading the book as well...there are no coincidences, right?
So we decided to go back to Day One and go through the exercises together. We started on Sunday and this time through has been a deeper, richer experience. Frankly, I'm enjoying the company!

What I now think is that maybe I wasn't having a breakdown but rather a breakthrough! The work is reaching places deep inside that hadn't been accessible my therapist observed, last week I was deep in the YUCK. It's like a doing a  cleanse....sometimes you feel like crap before you feel better. The toxins have to come out! 

I am so grateful that I have been able to push through it...I am finally getting a glimpse of the other side. Shining a light on the dark places that I have kept hidden is scary and exhausting work...but light is the only thing that can get rid of the darkness. 
The tiny flashlight I was using by myself wasn't strong enough...
Now I have twice as much light...and a trusted companion to share the journey.

Shine on!