Friday, March 8, 2013

Choose again....

SOOO, this pretty much sums up MY week..

....and YOU??

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever gonna get to the last layer of the proverbial onion. Seems like I've been peeling and peeling that damn thing forever...with no end in sight.

Emotions are funny things...I know that ridding myself of toxic and unhealthy emotional baggage is a process. Sometimes I feel like I've been running on the same rusty hamster wheel for several months now and I am ready to get ( and STAY) off!

I know from the work I'm doing that my ego is up to it's nasty old tricks again. In some ways, I could consider that good news, because the trickster would only be acting up if it felt threatened. That means that my commitment to choosing love over fear is shifting me in the right direction! Maybe I need to focus on that when I start feeling squirrel-y?

It's important for me to remember that it all comes down to choice...and when I am not happy with my choice, I can always make another one. I can "start my day over" any time, right?

I am so grateful for the opportunity to go deep and really explore some of the places that I've managed to keep hidden for most of my life. I realize that shining light on my dark places is the only way that I can start to eliminate them. 
I am especially grateful to be sharing this journey with people that I trust & who love me enough to support me through the messy bits.

Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me.~~~Chris Prentiss

Friday, March 1, 2013


“My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.”
― Rumi

I just returned from an incredible vacation....a yoga retreat in Puerto Rico! I hadn't realized how desperately I needed a respite like this until I arrived at the airport in San Juan and saw my dear friend, who was my partner in crime on this adventure.
Several months ago, our yoga teacher had invited us to join her on her first retreat and, FINALLY, we had arrived! My anticipation was more intense than that of a young child on Christmas morning. I was practically skipping through the door as I exited baggage claim with my luggage, ready for the retreat to begin.

We stayed at a private estate on the west side of the island. Although it took several hours... (and a few wrong turns!) to get there, it was absolutely worth the trip!
Pictures don't do this place justice. Suffice it to say that it was a little slice of heaven.
For four days, we were surrounded by lush, tropical palm trees and fell asleep to the sound of the roaring waves of the ocean.

I quickly realized how my soul needs to be in nature to feel nourished...and winter in Chicago just does not cut it! I felt the same way at Starved Rock last spring. My soul soaked it all up like a sponge. I spent the majority of the trip outside in one form or another. I meditated outside in the morning, we had 2 daily yoga practices outdoors, I read and napped by the pool. I even had a massage outside!
On the last full day there, we spent the day on the beach. The waves were intense and there were several surfers taking advantage of them.

While I was away, I continued the work I started in Gabby B's book, May Cause Miracles. Surprisingly, (or not) even in this luxurious setting, my ego managed to act out one morning. I woke up in Funkytown and could not shake it! Even my yoga practice was affected. Part of me wanted to crawl under to covers to wait it out, but thankfully, I shared the way I felt with my friend and even sent a long distance SOS to my MCM partner! I was determined not to let my ego ruin my day in paradise. I grabbed my book, cranked up some music on my iPod, and experienced a shift. It was nothing short of a miracle! Within a short time, I felt my heart swell with gratitude for being exactly where I was at that moment. 

I was grateful for the funky mood, which helped me to truly appreciate my surroundings that morning. I was grateful that I was able to reach out for help to people I trust and who love me enough to help me find my way off the ledge. I was extremely grateful for the miraculous shift, which allowed me to switch my perspective from one of fear to one of love.....incredible!

Such a great reminder:

"I am responsible for what I see." ~~~May Cause Miracles