Out with the old.....

"You raze the old to raise the new."
— Justina Chen Headley 

Santa Claus has come and gone and the clock is ticking down to the last days of 2010. Oh my, what a year it's been! So many changes...new growth, new discoveries, shedding the old to make way for the new.

And so it is with change...it's a process of rebirth. Whether the change is physical (losing weight, cutting your hair) or situational (new job, new home, new city, marriage, divorce, birth of a child), the process involves letting go of the past to make room for the future. 

With each transformation, you need to carve out a little space ( a little "Breathing Room", if you will!), to get adjusted to the change and your place in it. There's a brilliant author named William Bridges who has written several books on the process of change and transition; he refers to that in-between place as the Neutral Zone. In the Neutral Zone, you may feel confused, out of sorts, unsure of your next step. That's the point. You need that time and that space to adjust, reflect, and contemplate...there's a lot of inner work to be done. There is no set time table for how long each of us remains in this phase of the process...but doing your time here is essential to any successful transition. Keep that in mind as you contemplate your new years resolutions...

As 2010 draws to a close, we are not only saying goodbye to the last 365 days, but also to the first decade of the 21st century. Take some time to reflect on all the ways your life has changed. 

What were your hopes and dreams as you entered the new Millenium? You're not the same person you were then...are you happy with the changes you've made? Still more work to be done?

What are your hopes and dreams as we enter the new year? How to you plan on achieving your goals? I hope you'll share some here...you never know who you might inspire and you might find the help and support you need to make those dreams come true.

Wishing you all peace, joy, good health, and happiness in 2011...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Merry Christmas...

"Christmas, my child, is love in action." 

~ Dale Evans (1912-2001), American film actress, singer and songwriter. Wife of Roy Rogers. 

Christmas is a just a few days and 2010 is drawing to a close. What a year it's been!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and all the very best in the new year.

I hope you all enjoy your friends and family and take a few moments  from the hustle and bustle to soak in the spirit of the holidays.

Love the people you're with, but don't forget to save some time to love yourself: take a walk, take a bubble bath, take a nap, spend some time reflecting on all the things you're grateful for. Care for yourself as you would a dear friend. During this busy holiday season, we often get so caught up trying to get everything done (shopping, baking, parties, etc), that we often neglect ourselves. 

I love the quote from Dale Evans which opens this post...Christmas is all about love! But as she reminds us, love is a verb...it's something we do, it's an action. 

So take care of yourself this holiday season so you are able to truly love the people in your life.

Smile at the people you pass in the street, thank your UPS driver or mailman, wish the cashier at Trader Joe's a happy holiday when you're rushing in to pick up that last minute ingredient. Give out as many hugs as you can and tell the people in your life how much they mean to you...why not? It's Christmas!

Make this Christmas all about spreading love!

(((((((HUG))))))

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!

Make the change...

"The thought manifests as the word;

The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...

As the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become."
— Siddhārtha Gautama

Our minds are incredibly powerful devices. We are capable of improving our lives simply by changing the way we think. Have you ever noticed how attractive positive people are? By that I am not referring to a person's physical attributes; rather I mean how others are drawn to them simply because of their outlook on life. There's an old adage which states, "Like attracts like." Positive people are a joy to be around and people who have a negative outlook seem to attract more negativity.

I used to be a cynical, negative person; now I try to look for the silver lining in every situation. I firmly believe that we are surrounded by beauty, and that miracles are within reach, if we are able to shift our perspective so that we can see them.

Like anything else, changing your perspective requires learning and practicing new behaviors and, perhaps more importantly, unlearning the way that we used to view the world.

We are pulled in so many different directions in today's world; we have commitments and are often over-scheduled. For many of us, the first item to get edited from our mental 'to-do' list is some form of self-care: healthy eating habits, exercise, spiritual practice, etc.

Sometimes it seems easier to skip the workout, grab a quick bite on the run, or hit the 'snooze' button for a few extra minutes of sleep. It's easy to fall into that habit...but certainly not in your best interest.

Just as it's possible to learn new ways of viewing the world, you can also establish new habits in other areas of your life. It starts with a desire to make a change... and it requires action and conviction to make the shift.

One website that I have found to be helpful is www.habitforge.com.

Just register on the site and pick the area you'd like to change...you'll receive a reminder email for the next 21 days. "Habitforge" keeps a tally of the days that you successfully complete the desired change. This has worked well for me because it keeps me accountable.

In the last few posts, I mentioned incorporating more yoga into my exercise routine and eating better. I am happy to report that I made it to yoga 5 out of 7 days that week and ate reasonably well. This week has been more challenging because the holiday festivities are in full swing. However, I am happy with my efforts and know that I can continue to reinforce these new habits.

Just remember, when you feel stuck....you always have a choice!

If you don't like where you are, choose again!!!

Astound yourself!

"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves."

— Thomas A. Edison

Snow was in the forecast this weekend, and sure enough, we got hit in the middle of the night. This is the first official snowfall of the season and several inches of accumulation are predicted.

PERFECT excuse to stay in the warmth and coziness of my home and skip my yoga commitment, right?

I even surprised myself when I started getting dressed (in layers) to take another new class at the new studio this morning. And am I ever glad I did!

WOW!

The class is called yoga sculpt: imagine a one hour vinyasa class in a heated room...with hand weights.

I ran into a friend in the locker room...nice surprise...and she raved about the class..she was absolutely right. Kicked...my...butt!

I feel FABULOUS and ready to take on the world. Times like this make me wonder why I have such a hard time motivating myself to work out...

Here's what I think...

Just like any other habit, good or bad, falling off the exercise "wagon" was a gradual process. I have to remind myself that it's going to take time to form a new habit of working out and taking better care of my physical health. It will be helpful if I can also remind myself to be gentle with myself as I go through the process, celebrating my victories and showing up to try again when I slip up.

I am essentially in the process of clearing out the 'clutter' that is keeping me from reaching my goals: excuses, laziness, lack of motivation. All these things have kept me stuck and unable to move forward. I have reached a point where I am ready to make a change, and I am asking for help and support in reaching my goals. I am holding myself accountable by sharing the process with you all here in this blog.

"Clutter" can keep us stuck in many areas of our lives...not just in the physical realm, but also emotionally. Oftentimes, physical clutter is symbolic of inner turmoil or confusion or fear; holding on to items that no longer serve a positive purpose in our lives can simply be fear of letting go of the past in order to move into the unknown future. But the unknown, unsettling as it may be, is full of opportunities as well...and you'll never know what surprises are in store for you if you keep yourself tethered to the past.

So...what are you holding on to? What's keeping you stuck? What secret dream have you been holding on to? Isn't it about time to try it out?

Come on...take a chance...

astound yourself!

Believe in the possibilities...

"Your own positive future begins in this moment. All you have is right now. Every goal is possible from here."

— Laozi

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving last week! Mine was filled with good food, great people, and a lot of gratitude...and yet...

Have you ever felt that there was one area of your life that could use some work, but just didn't know how to take that first step? Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of starting something new or (finally!) taking steps to stop doing something that was no longer serving your best interests? Have you found yourself obsessing (just a little bit) about how things would be different if you could change that area of your life? Does the thought of all of this make you so exhausted that you just want to take a nap?

Sound familiar?

Yes, I know...I've been there too.

I am currently in this very place regarding my exercise routine (or lack thereof) and eating habits. This time of year is challenging for me because I love to bake and I LOVE to eat the finished product. I am a pro at procrastinating when it comes to working out, even though I always feel better when I do it.

I am incredibly empathetic to my Edited Space clients who struggle with organization. Making a decision to do something different is hard enough, but actually taking the action, whatever it may be, can be overwhelming! I understand that inner voice that says, "I know how to do this...I don't need any help." And I also understand the shame that comes with the realization that despite your good intentions, you have done the exact same thing...AGAIN!

What I have learned is that, in some areas of my life, I have to reach a certain level of discomfort before I am willing to change. I wish this wasn't the case, but it's true; however, acknowledging that there is a problem often speeds up the process. Asking for help can be critical to your success.

So...I made a decision to take steps to do things differently.

Over the last few days, I have shared my struggles with people whom I trust and asked for their help and support. Today was the day to begin making some changes.

I am happy to report that I went to a new yoga studio that I have been wanting to try. I have made a commitment to make at least 3 classes this week. It is a commitment to myself and my well-being. I will share my successes as well as my struggles with you in this forum and I hope that by doing so, I am helping someone else.

What are you struggling with? Have you reached your tipping point? Are you ready to consider making some changes? Are you ready to ask for help?

I love the quote by Laozi, which appears at the beginning of this post. It fills me with hope for a brighter future and reminds me that anything is possible.

I hope it inspires you as well.

Remember...anything is possible!

Thoughts on gratitude and happiness...

"...happiness is above all a love of life....it is a purging of mental toxins, such as hatred and obsession, that literally poison the mind."

~~~Matthieu Ricard

I have recently started reading "Happiness", a book by Matthieu Ricard, a Buddhist monk who left a promising career in cellular genetics in his native France to move to Nepal and pursue his true calling. The book was recommended to me by a client who thought I might enjoy it; she was absolutely right! Everything that I have read so far has resonated deeply within me.

I have learned from my experiences over the last several years, just how powerful my attitude is in the way I view the events of my life. For years, I was a cynical, pessimistic person and, not surprisingly, my life was pretty miserable. I was devoid of hope and considered myself a victim of circumstance; I reacted to the events of my life and thought that everything (bad) happened to me. What I didn't know then was that I had choices, including a choice about how I looked at my life. I could focus on what was good rather than what, in my opinion, was bad or unfair.

This realization was a major turning point in my life! I felt empowered, rather than victimized. I could choose what to focus upon and, in doing so, shift my perspective. I felt like I has slipped on a new set of glasses, which enabled me to see the beauty around me that I had previously ignored. I felt happy.

For me, gratitude is inexorably linked to my level of happiness. The more grateful I am for what I have, the happier I am. I don't know how it works, but I know that it does.

We are faced with a lot of challenges in today's world. It would be easy for me to sit back and focus on everything that is going wrong and all the material losses that many people have experienced. There is no denying that we are facing a time of major change. However, I believe that there is still a lot of good in the world. As I type those words, I realize that, to some, that may sound a bit like Pollyanna. That's ok by me.

I believe that our attitude shapes the world we live in. To quote one of my favorite authors, Dr, Wayne Dyer, "Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world."

For me, negativity is toxic and it feeds upon itself. Most days, I choose to look for the silver lining in a situation. It just works better for me. I know what my life was like before I realized I had a choice to look for the good or focus on the bad; I don't want to go back there. My life is better when I focus on the good stuff. I'm grateful that I know I have that choice.

So, in preparation for Thanksgiving, I will be in the kitchen baking biscotti, something that brings me immense joy. Tomorrow I will spend the day with many of the people I love, eating delicious food and reflecting on the blessings in our lives. I can't wait!

I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you in this blog. I would love to hear how gratitude has worked in your life.

Wishing you and yours a joyous Thanksgiving!

Take a deep breath...

"Meditate. Breathe consciously. Listen. Pay attention. Treasure every moment. Make the connection."
— Oprah Winfrey

OK, so many of you know by now that I had to say goodbye to my baby, Harley, last week. My beautiful, furry ball of unconditional love has been with me through all the trials and joys of the last 16 years. He was my heart and I miss him terribly. But I am also grateful for all the years we spent together and the valuable lessons he taught me.

I experienced a major life change almost 10 years ago. I could never have imagined all the gifts that would appear as a result of turning a corner that would change my life forever. In many ways, I feel that I got a second chance, that I was reborn. Never again would I look at life in quite the same way.

The last 10 years have not always been easy...but it's been a helluva ride! My whole life has opened up, to varying degrees, because I learned how to take responsibility for my actions, ask for help, and show up, even when I didn't feel like it. I have also discovered that we are incredibly resilient creatures and have access to an inner fortitude that we don't always know exists. I have come to believe that people are inherently good at heart. (This has been proven to me more times than I can count, which essentially knocked the cynicism right out of me!)

But perhaps most importantly, I now understand that, fundamentally, we are not all that different from the next person. We all share many of the same hopes and dreams and fears. We all appreciate being treated kindly and having the opportunity to do the same for another person.

I have mentioned in previous posts that, like many people, I am no stranger to loss. After last week's events, I now find myself right smack back in the middle of the grieving process...one I vehemently dislike, by the way. I hate feeling out of control and dominated by emotions that won't "behave." I have been here before, and I know that the only way to get through this is to go through this. ( I seriously wish there was another way, but sadly, no one consulted me when that little rule was made up!)

But one of the gifts of having been in this spot before is that I also know that joy and beauty and happiness have not disappeared, simply because I feel bad. They are always there, just waiting for me to focus on them. I learned this lesson, several years ago, after a particularly painful loss. I was a few months into the grieving process, surviving each day in a kind of automated state. I wasn't fully present for anything during those months. I was numb. One morning, I opened my eyes and saw the sunrise, something I had done many other mornings, but this time it was different. I was fully present in that moment and really saw the sunrise. It was a very symbolic moment for me because I felt that I was reawakening to my life in a completely new way. I realized how much I had missed out on simply because I was too busy or preoccupied to notice. I vowed not to make that mistake again.

So, as I begin this process once again, I will try to remember to be gentle with myself, accept help graciously, express my love and gratitude to the people in my life, and treasure each and every moment.