Sunday, June 23, 2013

Pause





 “Open your minds, my friends. We all fear what we do not understand.” 
― Dan Brown
 
This has been a pretty amazing week.

There were a couple of situations that occurred that not too long ago, I may have handled differently. Probably wouldn't have chosen the "easier, softer way" to go about it either. 

I've learned a lot over the last several years, but I'm always a little surprised when I actually apply these skills to a real life situation. Even though my logical mind understands that I have different choices, my default reaction still kicks in from time to time. The difference these days is that I usually don't go with my default reaction....the end result doesn't turn out well.

I used to live my life reactively.

In all fairness, I didn't know any better. I learned how to (re)act from the people around me. I don't say that to place blame or to avoid accepting responsibility for my own actions...I just didn't have many examples of alternative behavior.
For YEARS, I blamed other people for what happened to me and the situations in which I ended up. I just couldn't see my part in anything.
As a result, I rarely took action of any kind that was not the direct result of something else...I was a reaction waiting to happen.

Then things changed.

Even though I've had some years of practice with this new "skill", that old behavior seems to wait in the wings until my guard is down. Thankfully, these days, that reactive stuff happens only within the confines of my mind. I don't react nearly as much as I used to....in fact, the last time it happened was several months ago.
Progress!

Life has handed me a couple of tests this week and I'm proud to say that I think I handled them pretty well.

* I didn't react.
* I asked for help.
* I "paused, when agitated"...instead of saying what I really thought in that moment.  (beware of things you say that you can't take back once you say them!)
* I chose not to engage.
* I did my best to act from a place of love and compassion instead.

As always, I am a work in progress, but I must admit it feels pretty great to see the progress in action.

More will be revealed...

Peace & love
xo




3 comments:

  1. Restraint of pen & tongue... ;-)

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  2. "Only when we consistently work at being alive for the present can we have compassion for ourselves from the past." You my dear Maria, are living proof,Love,R

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