“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
― M. Scott Peck
I guess I could just blame it on Mercury retrograde...
Something is amiss and I'm not quite sure....what.
Let me just start by saying, fundamentally, all is well. Nothing is wrong, exactly....things just don't feel quite....right.
For the last several days, I have felt off.
Not quite comfortable in my own skin.
Emotionally off balance.
Out of place.
Just plain weird.
....and the frustrating thing is that I can't attribute this feeling to anything in particular.
In some ways, I feel like I'm outgrowing certain areas of my life. I feel like I've just woken up in a strange place, filled with people I don't know who speak a language I don't understand.
I see people, places, & things that I recognize, but I feel less connected to them.
I don't feel like I fit in anymore.
For many years, this feeling "apart" was normal...uncomfortable, but oddly familiar.
Then my life took a drastic change...
After some time and a lot of work, I felt like I had found my place in my world. I felt "a part of" instead of "apart from", I felt increasingly secure in my life and confident in my own skin. For the most part, I felt grounded.
Something has shifted and I can't put my finger on exactly what.
All the changes in my life and the inner work that I have done has not made me more comfortable with uncertainty, but I have acquired tools to work with it.
* Awareness is important. I am aware of my discomfort and have discussed it with people in my life whom I trust.
* Communication is critical. I'm talking about the way I feel as honestly as I can.
* Faith is key. Although I may not understand what or why this is happening, I know that I have always and will continue to be taken care of. I also believe that this will make sense at some point...just not today.
So, I share this today because one thing I have learned is that "secrets keep me sick".
Once upon a time, I was unable/unwilling to share the messy bits of my life with others. I just stuffed them down, self medicated, and denied their existence, insisting that everything was "fine," when it was actually anything but.
Today, I can admit when things are not "fine" and try to do something to change them, with a little help from my friends.
Today I can sit with uncomfortable feelings without having to resort to unhealthy ways of coping with them.
Today I can feel gratitude for feeling uncomfortable because I know that there is growth there. I'm stretching beyond the walls of my comfort zone and that's where endless possibilities exist.
Anything is possible.
Life is good.
All is well.
Peace & love,