Be.Here.Now.

"Nothing is worth more than this day." 
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I occasionally get stuck in my head, analyzing and obsessing on what could have been, what could be around the corner, and all the ways I could've done _______ differently (better).

I know I'm not alone in this behavior.

While I don't engage in this nearly as much as I used to (all the time), for the last few weeks, I've been indulging myself a little too much in these old habits. There are a few items on my obsession list right now; of course, I have absolutely NO control over any of them---I am well aware of that. However, that knowledge has not prevented me from obsessing about them; in fact, my pesky little brain has gotten quite creative in the way it returns to each one, after I have sworn off thinking about them. 

I know that I am letting my fears get the better of me. I am trying to maintain some control over future events that are beyond my control. Sounds crazy, huh? Yes, I know.

I was in a yoga class last week and the teacher suggested an amazingly appropriate intention for the class: staying in the moment. For a full hour, we were encouraged and reminded to stay present. Through each pose, through each breath, through each transition, our focus was to move from one individual moment to the next. 

At the end of the class, I felt incredible! I was  renewed, focused, peaceful, and best of all, had not obsessed for a full hour!

There are so many things that can make us feel overwhelmed, out of balance, or out of control; so many different manifestations of our fears can consume our thoughts and make life seem unmanageable. 
The only remedy that I have found to work consistently is to bring myself back to the present moment. Often easier said than done, but I know it works. From there, I can find gratitude, acceptance, and the ability to see the issue more realistically (not SUPER SIZE, like it seems to be when I'm obsessing).


So, here's my thought for the day: stay present. Appreciate THIS moment... then the next....and the next.
After all, THIS moment is really all there is...until the next one, right?
And in THIS moment, things are pretty darn good!

Choose again...

A belief is only a thought I keep thinking.

~~~Abraham-Hicks

Thoughts contain an amazing amount of power. There was a time when I felt that I was at the mercy of the negative, obsessive thoughts that plagued me, day in and day out. It was like being on a hamster wheel, with no escape route in sight. Held captive on this wheel, my thoughts would spin faster and faster in progressively tighter circles, until I was so wound up I thought I would burst! The irony of this situation was that the behavior had become so ingrained, that I couldn't see the insanity of it.

Thankfully, things have changed.

Now I know that the power to choose the thoughts I focus upon is mine. I learned that my perception affects everything: if I choose to focus on what's wrong or what's "lacking", then I will only be able to see the problems, not the solutions. If, on the other hand, I choose to look through the lens of gratitude and acceptance, I can appreciate the beauty, in all its forms, that surrounds me on a daily basis.

Bottom line...negative thoughts feel bad, positive ones feel good.

If I choose to dwell in negativity or pessimism, then my life looks pretty bleak and I'm no fun to be around (heck, I don't even want to be around myself!)

If I choose to look for the positive, good feeling things, life looks (and feels) pretty good.

Like attracts like.

Misery loves company.

Which do YOU choose?

Reach for a thought that feels better.

~~~Abraham-Hicks

Just.Say.NO (thank you)!

"We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity." - By Barbara de Angelis

Clearing out space does not always involve a physical housecleaning. Sometimes the clutter that is weighing us down or holding us back manifests as negative thoughts or beliefs that no longer ring true with the person we have become. In many cases, we may have surrounded ourselves with like-minded people when we were in that negative state of mind...misery loves company after all, right? When we make changes in our attitudes and outlook, there is a shift, and those beliefs ( and people) no longer complement our new mindset.

Letting go is not always an easy process. Change is difficult for most people. But in order to move forward, we must release the baggage that is hindering our progress. Not everyone is ready or willing to make the journey. Letting go can be sad, but it can be done with love and kindness. Whether it's an outdated belief that no longer serves you or a relationship that has come to an end, you can say thank you and wish them well....then let go and move on.

Surrender to what is...

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." 

— Laozi

I learned long ago that there are no coincidences. I believe that everything that happens in life is part of a greater plan and I am privy to only a portion of the larger picture at any given moment. Some of the most meaningful periods of my life have started as the most painful.

I am in a phase of transition. 

Transition, by its very nature, is messy and confusing; struggle just pushes you deeper in the muck. I envision a pool of quicksand...the more I thrash around, trying to get out of the messy predicament I find myself in, the more stuck and deeply enmeshed in the mess I become.

I once read that baby chicks break out of their shell because to remain within their incubated environment would kill them...the atmosphere that once sustained them in their embryonic state has now become toxic. And so it is with us...

My yoga teacher made a statement in class today that resonated with me. She was referring to connecting with our breath in our practice. She said that surrender makes room for release--you can go deeper into a pose when you let go and focus your breath on the location of the tension within your body. When you are gripping (imagine a clenched fist), there is no room for movement. When you relax (imagine the same fist opening up), you find space that was not available moments before.

I can apply that to my current state: if I allow myself to become consumed with fear, I will remain consumed with fear and nothing will change. If I release my grip even the tiniest amount, the faintest whisper of faith can come in...there is space for movement and with movement comes change. 

Change is good.

Change invites unlimited possibility.

Change means that you don't have to stay stuck.

You are limited only by your imagination...get connected to that little voice within you...that's your heart speaking to you.

Listen...

Break through....

"The flowers in the mountains have broken through the rocks" 

— Tennessee Williams (Camino Real)

Wow! It's been awhile....and yet, surprisingly, I was at a loss when trying to decide the topic for today's post.

Then...

inspiration struck...

in the form of a Tennesee Williams quote (brilliant playwright, by the way...).

So, persistence is the topic du jour.

It's funny how some challenges respond better to forceful effort, while others respond better to the gentle, consistent kind. Strength is not always characterized by being the biggest, loudest, pushiest person in the room. Sometimes, true strength is measured by diligence and the ability to suit up and show up, day after day, despite the challenges with which one is faced.

The image that comes to mind is the majestic sight of the Grand Canyon. Although I have not yet had the opportunity to see it in person, I have been deeply moved by photographs taken by friends who have visited this marvelous place. 

Just think...a single drop of water from the Colorado River, millions of years ago, was the humble beginning of the monument that is visible today. I am in awe that, by the process of erosion, over time, water can wear away something as solid as a boulder. I use this as a motivational reminder when I find myself facing a challenge that seems insurmountable...like that drop of water, if I show up consistently and do what is within my power to do, eventually that obstacle will be worn down.

I am often faced with similar situations with my clients: for example, the piles of clothing in their closets or paperwork on their desks has become overwhelming...they feel paralyzed and don't know where to begin. Often, when we begin to tackle the piles, it may not appear as though we are making progress...at first. Tackling clutter is a process and it requires patience and diligence, as most challenges do.  You have to weed through the items in order to determine what stays and what is no longer needed. There are no magic shortcuts to getting the job done.

But, once the process has begun, you are on your way and soon, you will find that we have eliminated the clutter that has been weighing you down and all the things you need are neatly stored and easily accessible. 

You have cleared the space and now have room to breathe!

So, just remember...

when you are faced with a challenge, just keep showing up and do what you can do, however small it may seem...

eventually you will break through!

Feel the fear, but keep going!

Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things. ~ Joe Paterno

Fear is an emotion that I am all too familiar with. The funny thing is that I've only been able to admit that for the last 10 years or so. I was bound and determined never to admit that I was afraid...that would mean allowing myself to be vulnerable and I worked too hard on my "tough" exterior to do that!

While I now understand that acting "tough" was a self-protective defense tactic that worked for a short time ( or did it?), I also know now that it kept me cut me off from other people. I didn't allow any cracks in that armor...someone might see my flaws and weaknesses and (horrors!)realize that I was not so tough after all. That strategy left me sick, exhausted, and alone.

I have learned alot about myself in the last decade and,as a result of some significant life events, made some major changes in the way I live and view my life. 

So imagine my surprise (annoyance) when old behaviors started popping back up recently!

As I write these words, I now realize that I am reverting back to old behaviors: I'm trying to force my way through some uncomfortable feelings.

I am in a place of uncertainty and I am letting fear get the better of me. Fear is insidious; it convinces me that, not only will I fail, but that I am a failure. Over the years, I have acquired a set of tools that usually help me combat this monster, but my tools are a little rusty and not working too well at the moment. The voice of fear is drowning out the loving voice of faith. It's wearing me down.

One of the best things I can do is share my feelings so, dear readers, I hope you will indulge me tonight. I am exposing my vulnerable side in the most revealing way I can think of.I am shining a light on my fear publicly, in the hopes that it might help someone else who may feel alone with theirs. We are never alone, no matter how isolated our fears may make us feel. 

I need to remember that, fundamentally, everything is ok. I am in a place of transition which, by its very nature, is a place of uncertainty. It's a process, and this is just one of the messy parts. So I will clean out the fear-based thoughts by talking about them, and by exposing them, their tight grip will loosen and I will be able to breathe again.

I found the opening quote on the page of a new Facebook friend. I thought it was inspiring and shared it on my own page. I now realize that I need to say those words to myself, as a daily affirmation, until this fear subsides. And it will pass...everything does.

Just.Let.Go!

 "Letting go is the lesson. Letting go is always the lesson. Have you ever noticed how much of our agony is all tied up with craving and loss?" 

— Susan Gordon Lydon

One of the ironies of life is that the tighter you hold on to a problem, the tighter it holds on to you.

Consider this:

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life? Like the direction from your inner GPS is garbled? Have you ever gotten to a point where it feels like you've tried everything and nothing is working? 

Frustrating, huh?

In the past, this feeling would have been the perfect excuse for me to "check out"...take a mini vacation from my life.

That didn't work too well either...

Here's a tip that I have learned from experience:

The more you ignore a problem, the worse it gets. Avoidance does not eliminate the problem. Instead, avoidance is like throwing a match on a puddle of gasoline...

It's hard to admit that you are faced with something that you are unable to handle on your own. There are all sorts of issues that prevent us from asking for help: fear, pride, and denial are just a few.

In my business, I work with people who struggle with clutter and organizational challenges. Many have told me that they were ashamed to ask for help. They have also shared the sense of relief they felt once they were willing to admit that they were unable to do the work on their own.

Why is asking for help so difficult? 

Admitting that you need help strips you of your sense of control, but "control" is often an illusion. Holding onto something that, in reality does not exist isn't practical. It just keeps you stuck.

So, what can you do?

Clear out a little space to breathe...

The irony about holding on to something that no longer serves you is that you can't make room for something new to take its place...there's just not enough room! Sometimes making room for something new is quite literal and sometimes it's a metaphorical exercise that requires patience. In both cases, you are not only letting go of something, but you are also making changes and it will take time for them to become your new habits.

So, be gentle on yourself...and ask for help when you need it!